How I Feel
by LiLDraGoNGuRL28
Summary: um...yeah...this takes place when Syaoran is about to leave to hong kong. uhh S+S FOREVER! hehe...its just how they felt...new chapter up...its when Syaoran comes back...all fluff!
1. When you left....

hi again...yes i know i have like 2 stories out there somewhere...but i couldn't help but to write this one. It is a short story...or gonna be shorter than mah others ones...dun worrie mah others ones will be coming with new chapters and stuff. hehehe! yeah okay...well on with mah story!  
  
  
~How I Feel~  
  
  
*Sakura's POV*  
  
  
  
"Goodbye.." you said coldly. Turning around having your back face me.   
  
  
  
And I was suddenly drowning. I fell into a deep cold cold water. I couldn't move and I just kept on sinking into this freezing water. As the coldness wrapped my body like a blanket of ice, my breathing sped up and I was getting numb. I couldn't even though I ached too. To just get of this freezing water to reach to you. But I couldn't I started to shiver and started to lose all my air. I closed my eyes and was trying to calm down. I felt tears come out from my eyes. But I didn't feel them roll down my cheeks, since I was sinking into this cold water. Starting to shake voilently, sadness and fright took over me. My heart started to beat slowly and in sadness. And I slowly recognize that I died. It felt like I just died. And I felt my spirit reach out of me and float away. Thinking of never returning. Scared that it won't return to me. But it drifted farther away...just like how I watched you walk away. Not even turning to give a second glance....  
  
  
  
  
And that's how I felt when you said, "Goodbye.." and walked away.  
  
  
  
  
*Syaoran's POV*  
  
  
  
I didn't want to turn to give a last glance because I knew that it would just break my heart. If I turned around it would feel like a ton of bricks just dropped on me. I would feel every inch of my body wince in the pain at every single little movement. The thought of you reaching to me. It would make me want to run back to her and hold her forever, never wanting to let go. But I had to go back. I have to go back to train to become the Leader of the Li Clan. My family. But when my training is complete, I will return. I'll take her as my wife. She'll be with me forever. BUT I CAN HAVE HER NOW!!! But I have to go. I'll be back to you, my sweet cherry blossom. Please keep your promise and when I'll return, I'll be with ou forever.   
  
  
  
I clenched onto the teddy bear in my hand. My teddy I named Sakura...to remind me of you. As I walked on board of the plane. With every step I took, my heart broke. Holding strong for I knew that I couldn't break down. I bit my lip in order to hold it all in. I hurriedly walked faster because I knew I couldn't hold it longer. Once I entered the plane, I quickly found my seat. Luckily it was next to the window. I pushed my bag into the compartment and sat down by the window. I felt the water fill up in my eyes. I rubbed them away and quickly looked out of the window to find her. I found her okay, she was standing by the open window pressing against it...maybe looking for me. I think she found me because tears started spilling out of her eyes. I thought I saw her say..."Aishiteru..Syaoran."  
  
  
  
  
*Sakura's POV*  
  
  
  
I hoped he saw me and the words I said to him. I was looking directly at him. As I watched his every move. Then I saw it..."Aishiteru...Ying Fa." he lipped those words, calling me by my chinese name. I couldn't help to cry more. I'll keep my promise and I'll wait for....only you. I didn't recognize that I loved him more than life itself until he walked away onto that plane.  
  
  
  
  
*Syaoran's POV*  
  
  
  
I didn't realize that I loved her more than life itself until I saw those tears. I was just on the urge to just get up and walk off the plane to her. But I was too late. The plane started to move slowly and I couldn't stop it. I love you Sakura. I'll return to you...soon.   
  
  
  
  
*Sakura's POV*   
  
  
I slowly watched it run slowly down the roadway. I didn't miss his last face. I missed him already. I was even at the point of running in that plane and going with him. I love you Syaoran...please return to me...soon.  
  
  
A few minutes later....  
  
The plane was gone and out of sight. More and more tears filled up in my eyes. I walked away as fast as I could. I needed to go home and try to calm myself down. I sped through the airport, leaving people to stare. I voilently brushed away my tears. But they just came back. I ran all the way home. Running up the stairs and bursting through the door. My dad and my brother were both there looking at me with fright in their eyes.   
  
  
I took one glance at them and then ran up the stairs. I needed to be alone...I just lost someone I love....and I needed to be alone...My spirit was dead and floated away...far away from me. I knew I couldn't continue being the happy cheery self I am...now that the main reason I am like that...was gone. A new sensation of fear took over me. And it wasn't the fact that you were gone.   
  
  
I took focus on was the tears wetting my pillow as I dug my face more into it. ......You had to leave me.....and I understand...but will you still love me...when you return??  
  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
uhh....should i continue it?...you tell me...i don't know. hehe if you like it i will and if you demand it scaring me halfway to death...then i certainly will. heheheheh! uhh yeah...oh yes i know i'm sorry for bringing this up, but i feel i need too.   
  
For what happened on tuesday on the 11th. I feel so sorry. And i still can't believe it. I want to do something so bad but i am still young. I will try and do stuff...like what my school is doing. But all i can do right now...is just give my blessings to everyone and let them know that i am praying for them. For all the families who have to suffer...just remember one thing...you only didn't lose someone....you gained an angel. I know...I know...i didn't make that up...but it is the most wonderful advice. It really made me feel better...even for people i didn't know. I have cousins up there and i thank god that they're all okay. I give my blessings and prayers to all. And may peace be with us. God Bless!  
  
  
~LiL DraGoN GuRL...aka May  
  
P.S. REVIEW ONEGAI???? ^_^" 


	2. When you returned...

hey guys whats up? well here is the next chapter too mah story and its a happier than the other...so yeah enjoy it!  
  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own CCS...I do not own CCS...I do not own CCS. There I said it THREE times may i add. Are you happy now?  
  
*Jiloe shakes his head*  
  
May: FINE FINE...I do NOT own...*sniff*...Syaoran...*sniff sniff*  
Jiloe: ^_^...now explain to them what everything you do means...  
May:*pouts* FINE! *mumbles under her breath*  
  
:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~...that's when i switch scenes   
"........"...talking of course  
*.........*....thoughts..  
(.........) ....umm ME saying stuff...  
  
...I now welcome you to the next and final chapter of... "How I feel"   
  
^^When You Returned^^  
by: LiLdRagOnGuRL...aka MAY =)  
  
  
  
::Syaoran's POV::  
  
This day....I finally waited for this day. The day that I'd return to my Cherry Blossom. I anxiously packed all my things. Thinking how slow these few years passed. And FINALLY I was done with my training. I didn't know if I was ready to see her again. To think that I might fall and die when I see her. Thinking that maybe...she has forgotten her promise...forgotten me. But I shoke that thought out easily. I was going home. Not ever dealing with heartbreak ever again. She had no thought of me returning any time soon. I wanted to surprise her. That feeling I get when I do something right and she is so happy for it. I will get to feel that feeling again...hopefully.   
  
I picked up all of my bags. My bodyguard begged me to have them hold it...but I denied. Being now the Leader of the Li clan, doesn't mean I'm going to be selfish and not do things that easily can be done. Like carrying my own bags. Nothing stopped me now...I was going home. Because my heart was left there....and home is where the heart is. (A/N: Does that sound familiar?...well if you read my other story, which is not done, The Two Of Us...it would sound familiar ^^) I couldn't stop smiling that day...nothing brought it down. Not even saying my goodbyes. Still remember the moment you said you loved me....for the first time! And I just sank into my dreams...dreams on which came true.   
  
  
=:-FlashBack-:=  
(A/N...flashbacks will always be in Normal POV...but when the flashback is done...it'll go back to whoever's POV it is...okies? OKIE!)  
  
  
Sakura nervously fidgetted with the bottom of her jacket. She was waiting for Syaoran. Because she had something to tell him. Something important. Syaoran was in sight and Sakura blushed a little bit. *This is my chance...I have to tell him now....before he leaves. I don't have a lot of time.*   
  
Syaoran was carrying a backpack. He already had all this luggage and stuff loaded. And all he had to do was wait for the plane. He looked up to see Sakura there holding onto TWO teddies. He gasped and freaked. *Sakura wasn't suppose to know that I'm leaving. Argh...I bet it was Tomoyo. Now I have to...deal with this pain.* Syaoran quickly walked up to Sakura with a surprised look on his face. Sakura had a mad and sad face on at the same time.  
  
"Sakura, what are you doing here?" Syaoran asked gripping on to his backpack. Sakura burst into tears and looked up at Syaoran...right into his eyes.   
  
"HOW COULD YOU SYAORAN??? How could you not tell me...you were leaving?" She yelled through the tears. Syaoran was mashed. This killed him, and it hurt really bad.   
  
"I just couldn't bear the thought of...seeing you like this. I..I thought it would be better if I wouldn't have to see this. See you cry. Because...it'd hurt a lot."   
  
Sakura threw her arms around him and started crying harder.   
  
"You can't leave me....you just can't leave me now.." she said into his shirt. Syaoran held her tight and tried not cry too.  
  
"I'm sorry Sakura. But I have to go..."  
  
"AISHITERU SYAORAN...I love you!" Syaoran gasped and froze to his words.  
  
"I love you...you are my number one!" she said lower. This made it harder for him. He kind of gasped from her words but regained his thoughts.   
  
"I love you too, Sakura. I promise with all my heart I will come back..." Syaoran said holding her tighter.   
  
"If you promise you would come back. I will wait for you...Pinky promise you'd come back?" Sakura said pushing back a bit and holding her pinky out. She had a small smile through her tears. Syaoran looked down at her pinky. He soon lifted his hand up and locked pinky's with her.  
  
  
"Pinky promise. I will come back..."   
  
"Flight number 837...going to Hong Kong, China... is ready to board." The speakers yelled.  
  
Syaoran stared at her...still holding their pinkys together. He soon unlocked it and pulled back more.   
  
"I'm sorry Sakura...I got to go now..." he said about to turn.  
  
"WAIT!" Sakura yelled hurrying to him. Syaoran stopped and turned to her. She held out a teddy and smiled brighter.   
  
"You forgot this.." she said. Syaoran took the teddy and smiled at her.   
  
"Arigatou...Can I name it Sakura?" he asked calmly. Sakura held her's up, the one Syaoran had made for her. Then she nodded.  
  
"If I can name mine Syaoran." Syaoran nodded. They stood there staring at each other for awhile, smiling. But Syaoran snapped out of it and took a step back. The same thought running through their heads. The thing that Tomoyo has said.  
  
*If a couple gives each other a teddy bear and they name them after each other....they are destined to be with each other forever.* (A/N: don't know the exact thing she said. ¬¬')  
  
"Goodbye..." He said, then turning around to leave. Sakura was going to run to him, but something stopped her. And the tears started to fill up in her eyes again.   
  
  
  
=:-End of Flashback-:=  
  
  
Still in Syaoran's POV  
  
  
I stepped on the plane, waving back at the family that came to send their farewells. I quickly rushed to my seat...it being whatever seat I wanted. Since I was taking a my own jet plane. I couldn't wait to embrace her again. To show her how much I love her. To feel her in my arms again...and never letting her go.   
  
  
2 hours later....  
  
  
The plane ride seemed like forever. All through the plane ride my legging was bobbing up and down and I bit my nails. I was acting so apprehensive. One of my bodyguards Yikoti(A/N...making up names again ^^'), was trying to calm me down. He said that I might bit off my fingers if I kept acting like this. *Man...she must be so beautiful now! I can't wait to see her.* I laughed allowed like a happy giggle. And everyone turned to me to find what was so funny. I didn't even pay attention to them. I was so tired of waiting. I wanted to be there now!   
  
"Plane will be landing in a few minutes...We are here in Tomoeda, Japan...Mr. Li." One of the Stuardess on the jet informed me.   
  
I looked up and almost screamed. We were here...we were here in Japan! I looked down to see if my seat belt was on...and it happened to be on. I don't think I ever took it off. That's when I get more nervous. I practically was shaking the whole plane. Sudden old memories came to me of Sakura...and it made everything passed by quickly. Soon enough we were in a limo. They were bringing me to my old apartment.   
  
  
Once I got there, I dropped all my stuff and ran out. I ran down the streets looking for the nearest Cherry Blossom tree. I was going to see her again. I was going to feel her warmth. I was going to be by her side. I picked a blossom from the tree...the most prettiest one. Although it didn't compare to the one I was going to see..soon hopefully.   
  
  
  
::Normal POV::  
  
  
At Sakura's...  
  
  
  
"Lalalala..." Sakura sang La's to herself as she walked around her house. She was desperate to find something to do. Her onii-chan and otou-san were both out. Onii-chan with Yukito-san, otou-san..working. She called Tomoyo, but she had plans with the reincarnations of Clow Reed, Eriol. And Kero-chan was sleeping away. In his little room in the drawer.  
  
As she walked around, her long hair swayed side to side. Her usually gleaming emerald eyes, were dull to the boredness spilling out of her.   
  
"There is just NOTHING to do..." she said to herself stopping at the bottom of the stairway. She climbed her way up the stairs carefully watching her step.   
  
It seemed like forever until she was at the top. She walked to her room...maybe hoping to find something in there to do. She turned a little and her eye caught on to a picture.  
  
"Syaoran...." her eyes deepened with sadness and her heart flipped. She sat down on her bed and slumped.   
  
"I want you back. Hoe...I'm talking to myself. But if you were listening, Syaoran, I'm still waiting." she whispered. She sighed and fell over, landing on to her pillow. She laid there for awhile. Thinking. About you-know-who.   
  
"I wish that I can come to a time where the door bell would ring, and I get up to answer the door to see Syaoran standing there, maybe holding some Cherry Blossoms or Peony Flowers...and maybe...GOSH you're forgetting that It's JUST a GOSH DARNITS WISH!!!" Sakura screamed at herself. She recognized that she was yelling and looked to see if she had waken up Kero.   
  
Kero didn't pop out of no where, so she guessed that he didn't even stir. She quickly got up and left her room so if she yells again, she wouldn't wake up Kero.   
  
She dazily walked around upstairs. She stumbled across her brother's room. She hasn't really ever been in it. So curiousity got the best of her. She peaked inside a bit and looked around suspiciously. Nothing in there looked interesting so she backed off.   
  
She thought about what Yukito-san and onii-chan would always do in such a dull room. But then her eyes widened and she quickly erased that memory.   
  
"I haven't been this bored...or this lonely in my whole life." Sakura said with a sigh. She walked down the stairs again and walked into the backyard. She had a special Sakura Tree she planted not too long ago. Well more like 3 years ago. Right after Syaoran left. She grew it so it can help her remember of him. How they use to ALWAYS meet by a Sakura Tree...always ate lunch under. How Syaoran told her he loved her for the FIRST time...right by one. It was right after the horrible card capturing time.   
  
  
She looked at the tree. It was fully grown. With every single petal hanging from it. It was beautiful. It had certainly grown from it's weak form, when she first planted it. Even in Japan, it was really hard to get a Sakura tree. Since they were a very symbolic tree of the country. They weren't exactly rare in Japan, but they weren't exactly cheap too.   
  
  
But she would do anything, just to remind her of Syaoran. Right now, that's what was on her mind. She sat under the tree for awhile. She leaned her back against it and sighed while closing her eyes. She pulled her dress down. Her summer dress. It was a light yellow color with sunflowers around the bottom. It was a sleeveless and it fit her body perfectly. It was a little above her knee.   
  
She slowly dozed off into a dreamless nap.   
  
  
:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~  
  
  
Syaoran came skipping around. *I wonder if she lives in the same yellow house. She probably does.* He had a huge grin on his face and was more like pouncing down the streets.   
  
He was holding a few Cherry blossoms in his hand. He also had a golden chain heart locket that he picked up on his way. He stopped at Yamazaki's house, he can't believe he trusted him with it. And Yamazaki kept it well. Syaoran sent in the mail to him. So Tomoyo can add in a picture of Sakura and him in it. Tomoyo knew that he'd be coming back one day...just didn't know it was going to be today.   
  
Syaoran probably guessed that she was with Eriol now. Or she can be with Sakura. He stopped dead in his tracks and thought for a minute. He then remembered that Yamazaki said something about Tomoyo and Eriol being out and Sakura was home alone. How he knew, Syaoran didn't know.   
  
He started walking down a little calmer. But his heart was jumping around inside. He passed a few girls, who looked a little younger then him. They all smiled at him and started giggling. He thought he heard them say.."kawaii". But he lauged at that. They kind of acted like the girls in China. Who were ALL over him literally. Well ever since Meilin backed off.   
  
Meilin ended falling in love with one of Syaoran's good friends in China, Xien Ti. Or if you wrote it Japanese style...Ti Xien. (A/N: isn't that a kewl name. Well i mean if you know it the way i say it...maybe you would think so...*shrugs*)  
  
Meilin kinded of admitted that when they were young, she would usually just hang around Syaoran, because of Xien Ti. Meilin was going to be wed soon enough. Even with a good guy. The Ti Clan (A/N: Almost like the Li Clan.) were rich and wealthy too. Xien was trained as well, but he wasn't as good as Syaoran. Not as good looking as Syaoran too.(A/N: hehehe..i had to put it.)   
  
Xien had jet black hair that was in a mushroom parted kind of haircut. He was an inch smaller than Syaoran. And Syaoran was about 6'3. Xien and Syaoran were known as the most cutest guys in China. Especially being apart of the few richest Clans.   
  
Syaroan's hair was now messier than ever, but it made him unbelievably handsome. He still has a glazing Amber eyes. And his body was much more broad and he was built. He had muscles, but they weren't so big. But he was still uncontrollably strong. His magic has advanced too. Almost tied up with Sakura.   
  
Well he was walking down the street. When he right then came across the yellow house. He could feel her aura. And it was getting stronger with every step he took.   
  
"I'm here...she's here. I get to see her again." He jumped in joy. As he skipped closer to the front door. He hesitated and stopped his finger right before pressing the doorbell.   
  
"Oh my gawd, I hope she still remembers me. What if she doesn't? Alright just calm down Syaoran." He shook it off and loosened up a bit. Then he brought his finger to press against the doorbell.  
  
  
~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~  
  
Sakura's eyes flung open when a flash of a green aura passed her way. "No way. It can't be. I must be dreaming things." She stood up and wiped off the dirt and leaves from her dress. She also yawned and stretched. She walked closer to the house. And then it hit her again. His aura. It was getting closer and closer as she walked more by the house and into it.   
  
"Syaoran...that's him. But he can't...he just can't..."   
  
Once she stepped in the house, she heard the doorbell. She quickly ran to it. *Maybe it is him. Maybe he came back!* She swung the door open to see a guy having his back facing her. Looking like he was about to leave.   
  
"Syaoran?" her voice almost at a crack.   
  
He suddenly stopped dead in his tracks and turned around. His saddened eyes turned to a gleam. And his frown turned upside down. (A/N: Ohh May's rhyming now!)  
  
Right before he blinked, Sakura was already in his arms. While he wrapped his arms around her, he easily let go of the locket and flowers. TOO happy to see Sakura again. She was still as ever so small. Well her being about 5'7. So more like she would be 8 inches smaller.   
  
They stood there for about 5 minutes, just embracing each other in each other's arms. Sakura was on the verge of crying, but she held strong.   
  
"I'm so happy you're back...Syaoran. I missed you very much." she said taking a step back. She stopped when she felt something under her foot. She looked down and so did Syaoran. They both saw something flash gold.   
  
"GAH!...I dropped it!" He quickly bent down to get it, but when he reached down...it was already gone. And in the hands of Sakura.  
  
"Oh this is soo beautiful! Is it mine? Is it, Syaoran?" she asked admiring the locket. It read on it:  
  
  
Sakura & Syaoran  
forever...  
  
"Hai..of course." he said hoping that she liked it. Before he knew it she was already in his arms again.   
  
"Arigatou Syaoran...I love it!" Syaoran smiled.  
  
"I'm glad you do." Sakura anxiously opened it and saw the two pictures. There was her on one side and Syaoran on the other.   
  
She couldn't love it more. It was beautiful. She slowly closed and looked up at Syaoran. She held it out to him and smiled.   
  
Syaoran got a little worried as he looked at the necklace in her hand. *Did she not want it....* he thought.   
  
"Put it on me." Sakura said handing it to him and turning around. Syaoran sighed and smiled.  
  
"Surely." Syaoran said with all his perkiness. ^_^' He quickly swung the necklace around her neck and gently put it on her.   
  
"Arigatou Syaoran." Sakura said while turning and touching her necklace.   
  
"Oh it was nothing..." She shushed him by putting her fingers on his lips.   
  
"I mean arigatou for not breaking your promise. You never did." She pulled in closer to him and wrapped her arms around his waist.   
  
She tiptoed a bit and gently gave him a small kiss. Inside of Syaoran screamed at him. That's what he wanted to come home too...even though it was just a small kiss, it was their first one.   
  
Syaoran, after being frozen for awhile, wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.   
  
~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~  
  
Sakura's eyes fluttered open and she glanced around at her sightings. She felt a cool breeze brush against her skin and a faint sun light gleaming through the shaded area she was under.   
  
She was leaning against a hard, rough edged back. She looked up to see pink flowers hanging from above. Cherry Blossoms. She was under her Cherry Blossom tree. She smiled at it's beauty. But then frowned.   
  
Did she just dream of Syaoran coming back? She thought she probably did. She moved the bangs that were covering her eyes and slightly sniffled. The dream seemed so real...but yet...she guessed it wasn't.   
  
She was just about to get up when she felt an arm on her elbow. She looked to the side of her to see a pool of Amber.   
  
"I see you've woken up, My cherry blossom." a husky voice came from the soft lips moving in front of her.   
  
It wasn't a dream....no it wasn't. He came back...and she didn't have to suffer missing him anymore. And now only cry tears of joy..instead of tears of sadness.   
  
She smiled and wrapped her arms around him.   
  
"Aishiteru, Sakura..." he said then lightly brushed his lips on hers.  
  
"Ashiteru, Syaoran..." she smiled then went in for a deep kiss.  
  
  
At last...her dream came true. And her question was answered...  
  
  
  
You had to leave me....And I understand...But will you still love me....when you return?  
  
  
  
And at last you are home....And you're in my arms...You said Aishiteru...when you returned.   
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
yay...it's finish...it's finish. um yeah...theres ur end to my very small short story! yeah but i hoped you liked it  
  
well i hope ya enjoyed mah small story...review onegai?  
  
ARIGATOU!  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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